Children’s Night-Time Fears

Night-time fears are common experiences for children, sometimes called bedtime anxiety. They involve feelings of fear, apprehension or discomfort during the evening — particularly at bedtime or during the night. Understanding these fears, and knowing how to respond, helps create a calmer, more restful bedtime for your child.

What causes night-time fears in children?

Night-time fears can arise from a number of factors, including:

1. Imagination and creativity — a vivid imagination can conjure frightening scenarios in a child’s mind.
2. Separation anxiety — fear of being alone or apart from a parent can cause distress at bedtime.
3. Fear of the dark — many children go through a phase of fearing the dark.
4. Stress and anxiety — daytime stresses such as school, family changes or social pressures can carry over into the night.
5. Media content — frightening or unsuitable content in books, films or games can feed a child’s fears.
6. Life transitions — major changes such as moving home or starting a new school can trigger fears.

How can you help a child manage night-time fears?

1. A comforting bedtime routine — a calm, predictable wind-down that signals it is time to relax, such as a story, a warm bath or slow breathing.
2. Night lights and familiar objects — a night light or a beloved soft toy can ease fear of the dark.
3. Open conversation — encourage your child to talk about their fears and listen without judgement.
4. Use imagination positively — help your child picture a happy place or a protective “dream guardian” who watches over them.
5. Limit frightening content — keep what your child sees and reads age-appropriate, especially in the evening.
6. Gradual steps — where a fear is specific, gently and gradually help your child face it in small, manageable ways.

How can you provide comfort and reassurance?

• Be patient and understanding, offering a calm, comforting presence at bedtime.
• Reassure your child that their feelings are normal and that they are safe.
• Avoid dismissive phrases like “there’s nothing to be scared of”; instead, acknowledge the feeling and reassure.
• Create a bedroom that feels safe and secure.

With a supportive, empathetic approach, most children navigate these moments well, and many outgrow their night-time fears as they grow and learn to manage their emotions.

When fears persist: parental dependency

For some children, night-time fears persist and intensify, and sleep problems become a significant part of the picture. These children find bedtime and falling asleep difficult, often wake during the night, and struggle to return to sleep afterwards.

Children use many strategies to cope — seeking a parent, clinging to a soft toy, or using a comfort object. It is very common for parents to stay by the bedside at bedtime or in response to fears, and sometimes to allow a child into their own bed. This often helps in the moment, but it can also maintain and even deepen both the fears and the reliance on that strategy. Many parents never intend co-sleeping as a long-term solution, yet find themselves drawn into it as the fears persist. Research shows that children who rely on a parent to settle are more likely to wake repeatedly at night — and these coping mechanisms hold back the child’s own ability to self-soothe and self-regulate, which can increase the fears over time.

One of the main aims of cognitive behavioural therapy is to help parents gently and consistently reduce this dependency and teach the child to cope independently. In most cases this leads to a marked reduction in fears and a clear improvement in sleep — for the child and the parents alike. This treatment is behavioural, evidence-based and drug-free.

This online clinic is led by Dr Jonathan Kushnir, a clinical psychologist (HCPC PYL042430) whose doctorate examined sleep disorders and night-time fears in children. He is the author of children’s and parents’ books on night-time fears, with more than 25 academic publications and 17 books in total.