When your child wakes in the night screaming, sweating and frightened but doesn’t really respond — and remembers nothing in the morning — it is usually not a nightmare. These are night terrors: a common phenomenon in childhood, mainly between ages 3 and 8, that happens during deep sleep. The child is asleep even though they look awake, and although it is distressing to watch, it is harmless and most children grow out of it.
Nothing frightens parents more than a child who wakes at night screaming. They cry, they sweat, they look terrified — but they don’t really respond. When you try to calm them, it doesn’t work. And in the morning? They remember nothing at all.
Is it a nightmare?
In many cases, no. These are night terrors. Night terrors are common in childhood, mainly between the ages of 3 and 8. They occur during deep sleep, usually in the early part of the night, and the child is in fact asleep, even if they look awake. It is important to understand that the child is not dreaming, is not experiencing conscious fear, and does not need a conversation or emotional “processing” in the morning.
Why can’t you comfort them?
The hardest thing for parents is the sense of helplessness — the urge to hug, to talk, to soothe — when in practice any such attempt may actually intensify the episode. Night terrors in children are not a sign of an emotional problem, and they do not cause psychological harm. In most cases they pass with age.
What makes night terrors more likely?
- Lack of sleep
- Irregular sleep times
- Illness or fever
- Stress
- Sleeping in an unfamiliar place
What should parents do?
The most important thing is to keep the child safe and to maintain a steady sleep routine. Do not try to wake or forcibly calm the child; stay nearby quietly and, if they get up, gently guide them back to bed. And in cases where the episodes are frequent, intense or dangerous, it is worth seeing a professional for a sleep assessment.
When should you seek help?
If the night terrors are happening very often, are very intense, raise a risk of injury, or come alongside other signs of disturbed sleep such as snoring or frequent waking, a professional sleep assessment can help rule out other issues and reassure you.